Act 1:
Researching how to write a book I have learned that most are broken down into three acts.
Act 1 Outlines:
Setup
The Ordinary World and Call to Change
Dissatisfaction and Setup
This is meant to introduce the main characters in their ordinary world. This is where the people, places, and things that they interact with regularly are show. It is through this that you start to figure out where they are dissatisfied in life. This is often where unresolved emotional issues appear and the false belief they have about themselves or the world.
I will need to answer questions such as:
What are they working towards?
What do they daydream about that they don’t think will ever happen?
Chapter 1: Ordinary World
Writing a Book: In the first chapter you Introduce main character and begin to show how they live their life. This is where we begin to establish core problems, wants, and needs.
The Story:
It is a quite Friday afternoon at work since it is Halloween. My coworkers have all left to take kids trick or treating and other festivities planed. Being the only one of my coworkers who is single with no kids you would think that I would have a party to attend but nothing came up. The clock is slowly ticking toward 4 pm when I need to leave, it feels like watching a pot of boiling water.
I do have a coffee date scheduled after work with a guy I met on Bumble, so I don’t want to get sidetracked and be late. I honestly want to cancel since I am not really feeling it, but I won’t. My two prior attempts to go on a date early this year I had been the one who was cancelled on at the last minute, and it sucks. I also don’t want to chance karma, that is the last things that I need. Every time I try and date again, I think to myself isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?
So, you may ask, why am I putting myself through this again? I blame the cooling weather and realizing that the end of the year and all the holidays were quickly approaching. In a moment of weakness, I decided to get back on Bumble and give the app another chance, I should have known better.
It is now 4 PM, time to suck it up and drive to Starbucks – here goes nothing!
I get to Starbucks a little early and order some tea and find a table in the corner where I can see the door. Waiting for my drink to cool, I aimlessly play with the square piece of paper on my tea bag. I should be excited but all I feel is dread. I just have this feeling this will be awkward and underwhelming. I will be honest; I am not sure how much of this is from him not inspiring much enthusiasm, my own disconnection, or the heartbreak I feel realizing the person I want doesn’t want me.
I check my watch; he is a bit late. Sigh… He did text saying he was coming, but that really doesn’t mean anything I have learned. I have a habit of being 5-10 minutes late, so the fact I was a bit early is a win for me and I will take it. I notice that the door is opening and he walks in – let the fun and games begin.
As an avid reader, this is the point in a story where I start thinking oh this sounds like it could be the beginning of a romance novel!
We have option 1: Despite my reservations, I see him stride in and there was this spark of electricity and sudden excitement. The, maybe this is it, all the heartbreak and work I have done is finally paying off.
-OR-
We have option 2: The date goes horribly wrong; despite some attraction there was some miscommunication like when Mr. Darcy slights Elizabeth Bennet. Over time the issues are resolved and dislike turns into love.
Oh Jane Austen … you have been giving Women unrealistic expectation of Men since 1811.
In both cases the sextual tension builds leading to amazing sex (insert all the cliches) as the protagonist has multiple orgasms. As my brain wonders, I am now curious how Jane Austen would have written sex scenes in today’s modern era.
You should know that this date was not that. It was pretty unforgettable so I won’t bore you with the details, but I am now thinking maybe I should read the Bridgerton novels.
What is a girl to do after tea on a Friday night? I did the most logical think I could think of – I head down the street to the Brewery to enjoy a nice and frosty beverage.
Writing a Book: This is where I need to decide how much of others story’s I will share and come up with aliases. Do I combine characters but still get the general point across? In most cases the who of casual friends and acquaintances isn’t really important since the triggers are more from the past and not necessarily those involved.
Back to the Story:
As I walk and sit down, I notice that the regular bartender is on duty and the bar was pretty quiet. The benefits of a friendly bartender are the ability to discuss the pains and joys of dating, and having a friendly ear. We did celebrate that at least I had one date this year … where the person actually showed up, so hey that is a win. The bar is set so low at this point, it can only go up. The words of encouragement that we all get that no one ever wants to her – the - it will happen when you least expect it is discussed.
It was an emotional night as the conversation shifted to unrequited love. I joke that I am the queen of the friend zone. I meet people, feel a connection and like them but in turn they see me as “just a friend.” I of course go along with let’s be friends hoping that maybe one day they will come to like me. I blame all the stories of how friends become more. Well… this is not my experience.
The most humiliating part of this is that everyone knows, him included that I like him. I just feel so pathetic. I struggle with the – I am not enough and I am not good enough dichotomy.
Writing a book: Another area I am struggling with – how do I handle this in my future books. I have been in therapy for 6 years. I have made a lot of progress including getting an ADHD diagnosis 5 years ago and learning to set boundaries. In book when the protagonist finally sets boundaries with those in their family or confront them, it is like a giant weight is lifted and healing is quick. That is a lie. In truth – shit blows up. You have been doing what they want and taking their bullshit for years. The messaging is engrained in your brain and it is a slow and painful process to try and reverse it. You also will lose family and friends as your world collapses and you need to rebuild. If you put up with crap from a toxic parent and/or sibling, chances are you did so with a lot of people in your life and now need to rebuild your entire social circle. I will say, for the sake of your mental health it is worth it. Sometimes you have to tear the house with a bad foundation and rebuild with a new, stronger foundation.
Back to our Regularly Scheduled Programming:
I use the phrases my emotional brain and logical brain to show the internal battle that happens in my brain on the regular bases. I will be honest; my emotional brain can be a real bitch.
The problem with my feelings is that my logical brain knows that it is not a good match. We do have a lot in common, get along well when together, and well matched in terms of age and education.
The problem?
He is emotionally unavailable, avoids attachments, and I get the sense he is running from something. He also can’t get over a toxic ex-girlfriend who is still manipulative. I know I want to be with someone who makes time regularly to be with me and can communicate his feeling. I also want someone who thinks I am beautiful.
I know that dating him would be a bad ideas – not that he is at all interested or an option - but I am struggling with the emotional connection and it is so painful that it hurts and is breaking my heart. I wish I could just turn it off…
Here I am sitting at the bar, not quite crying into my beer and an emotional mess. Ah – the cliché bar patron. I finished my second beer and decided to head home.
Home alone by 9 PM on a Friday night … Halloween to boot… with no weekend plans. Isn’t my life fabulous!
Chapter 2: Going Deeper
Writing a Book: In this chapter we deepen the portrayal of your world and relationships. Continuing to establish dissatisfaction. Showing a sense of loneliness, that life is passing by and emphasizing conformity to others' expectations.
The Story:
Waking up on Saturday, I just felt emotionally drained. My lovely ADHD brain likes to overthink everything and replay every conversation looking for the nuances which makes it hard to sleep.
I have so much … such as pick up around my house, go for a run, prepare for my upcoming show. The list is long and overwhelming, so much that I go into freeze mode. Instead of accomplishing anything productive I proceeded to binge watch TV.
I started with romantic comedies thinking about how it happens for so many others. They have amazing friends, families that care, and find this great love. The ones that the person is a disaster do make me feel a bit better, they give me a bit of hope. After while I start to get cynical about how unrealistic these are and why do I do this to myself.
I decided to switch to serial killers… I can have some consolation that I didn’t date or get married to Ted Bundy.
Scrolling Facebook I see that my friend posted that he had taken a pottery class that we talked about taking together and went with the bartender from the night before. I wasn’t invited. I feel this deep sinking feeling in my heart of grief and betrayal. She knew they were doing this and said nothing when I was struggling last night. I keep suggesting and setting up things for us to do together, but then it dawned on me that he never initiates anything. My desire for him in his life means that I can’t let go and give up.
The more I scroll the more I there is this sense of emptiness and the ever-present feeling that life is passing me by. I take a deep breath and know that I need to stop doom scrolling I need to at least look at something more productive. Maybe I will take a class – that could spark something, I did see an email saying that the local community college has adult classes meant to be fun. I find the email and go to the courses and I see one titled - “So, you want to be a Published Author”. Something with this struck a nerve. One of the items that is on my bucket list is to write a book. I have started one many times, but I don’t make it very far and just get stuck with no clear direction. Oh well – I look through the rest of the list to see if anything else looks interesting, but nothing strikes a verve.
The next email I see is for BookBub – which is a daily email I get with discounted eBooks. If you haven’t noted I love books. Let’s see if there is anything good. Looking through the list, I see “How to Edit Your Own Novel”. You cannot make this shit up. Ok Universe – I will take the hint.
The problem from five minutes ago still exists. I will have no clue what to write or the direction my book should take. You write what you know about, but my life isn’t very exciting. Then I think back to the books I read and all the movies, how many of them have started with the main character just existing or struggling in life? I got that down! I just need to think of what could I reasonably do. Now the ones with a tragic accident won’t work – I would prefer to not injure myself and get checked into a psych ward. I also don’t plan to move across the country on some adventure, at least right now. This journey is going to need to be more nuanced. More of a – how can I “romanticize my life” and work towards some of my dream. I feel that some of these classic plot theme may work best for me:
Theme Number 1: Romance
Need a great break-up story, I do have a few. Let’s just say I have even been dumped for Penguins. Yep, the dapper birds that are always dressed for the occasion. I am embarrassed to admit that at 44 - I have been truly loved. How do I write about finding that great love when I haven’t experienced it myself. I don’t know what it feels like to be treated like I matter.
Most the books use one of many troops. The classic enemies to friends – well I guess it is good news I don’t have any real enemies. I also can’t think of any need for the fake dating senecios in my future, honestly my family expects me to be single and has stopped asking. Then there is the scenario when you get back with your ex. Well, my last ex dumped me right before Valentine’s Day, the day his gift had shown up in the mail. So, I have zero desire to go back to any Ex’s. I do have male friends, but I think we have established why that is a no go and I need to move on. I need to find someone new who truly wants me and to be in my life. So, the focus will have to be on putting myself in social situations for the notorious meet cute.
Theme Number 2: The Glow Up
How many books or movies has there been a physical make over or change to get healthy? The protagonist goes on a journey to get healthy and making over their physical appearance while changing who they are in the inside. I have lost about 95 lbs. over the last 10 years – so that is a positive. But I still struggle with body dysmorphia and have more to lose.
Remember penguin guy… well he dumped me over thanksgiving weekend where I proceeded to drink too much wine, watched “Brittney Runs a Marathon,” and accidentally registered for the Chicago Marathon Lottery. And here I say I never win anything… yep… totally got into the 2020 Chicago Marathon. Oh, the irony…. Since it was cancelled due to Covid. Fact: An Emperor Penguin weight 50-99 lbs. and since that breakup I have lost 60 lbs. or a Penguin.
Remember that run I am also procrastinating doing, it is because in three months – February 1, I have a half-marathon I am signed up for at Disneyland that I need to train for. So, struggling with a fitness journey and body image – got that one down too and an opportunity to do train and get a PR.
Theme Number 3: The Artist / Finding Your Purpose
I am struggling with my art and what direction to take it. Note above where I said I am procrastinating getting ready for my show new week? I have a small side art business that I have no clue what to do with it or how to actually be successful. I am struggling to find my creativity mojo.
Walking past all the ½ finished projects piled up in my craft room and workshop, the list of ideas that I haven’t perused, remembering the forgotten social media and outdated website. The fear… Being an imposter… how I am not a real artist
Theme Number 4: The Found Family
This one is fitting, as the outcast finds a group of friends who become their found family. I do have a history of some toxic family member, but I have set boundaries and limited contact. There is a lasting impact that I am working on, such as how to trust others and let them is.
I wonder if this is real… being single and childless in your 40s it is hard to make close friends. I have acquaintances, but for this to work I will need to figure out how to find more people in my and hopefully begin to develop that best friend or confidant which I am currently lacking.
Wow… that is a lot. The overwhelm is already setting in and I haven’t even come up with how I am going to actually implement any of this yet to create a compelling story.