My own “Ordinary Day”
It is a quiet Friday afternoon at work since it is Halloween. My coworkers have all left to take kids trick or treating and other festivities planed. Being the only one of my coworkers who is single with no kids you would think that I would have a party to attend but nothing came up. I would leave early too, but I have a coffee date scheduled at 4:30 PM, so here until 4 PM - which is what time I need to leave to make it a few minutes early.
I honestly want to cancel since I am not really feeling it, but I won’t. My two prior attempts to go on a date early this year were failures since they cancelled at the last minute, and it sucked. I also don’t want to chance karma, that is the last things that I need. Every time I try and date again, I think to myself isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? So, you may ask, why am I putting myself through this again? I blame the cooling weather and realizing that the end of the year and all the holidays were quickly approaching. In a moment of weakness, I decided to get back on Bumble and give the app another chance.
I got to Starbucks a little early and order some tea and find a table in the corner where I can see the door. Waiting for my drink to cool, I aimlessly play with the square piece of paper on my tea bag. Why do they make the water so hot? It takes forever too cool. I should be excited but all I feel is dread. I just have this feeling this will be awkward and underwhelming. I will be honest; I am not sure how much of this is from him not inspiring much enthusiasm, my own disconnection.
He did show up more or less on time and sat and talked for a while, but the date ended up being about what I expected - average. I am sure he was a nice enough guy, there just wasn’t any chemistry and the conversation felt forced. What is a girl to do after tea on a Friday night? I did the most logical think I could think of – I head down the street to a favorite brewery to enjoy a nice and frosty beverage.
As I walk and sit down, I notice that the regular bartender is on duty and the bar was pretty quiet. The benefits of a friendly bartender are the ability to discuss the pains and joys of dating, and having a friendly ear. We did celebrate that at least I had one date this year … where the person actually showed up, so hey that is a win. The bar is set so low at this point, it can only go up. The words of encouragement that we all get that no one ever wants to her – the - it will happen when you least expect it is discussed.
It was an emotional night as the conversation shifted to unrequited love. I joke that I am the queen of the friend zone. I meet people, feel a connection and like them but in turn they see me as “just a friend.” I of course go along with let’s be friends hoping that maybe one day they will come to like me. I blame all the stories of how friends become more. Well… this is not my experience. Maybe I should write a book where the protagonist realizes that she deserves more… But yet, here I am sitting at the bar, not quite crying into my beer and an emotional mess. Ah – the cliché bar patron. I finished my second beer and decided to head home.
Home alone by 9 PM on a Friday night … Halloween to boot… with no weekend plans. Isn’t my life fabulous!
