Unspoken Connections
As the evening of my first book club meeting approached, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of nerves. The anticipation was mixed with hope that the group would be friendly and open to welcoming a new member. I am aware that my personality can sometimes be a bit much, so I silently wished not to say anything too awkward or out of place.
Since the club wasn’t scheduled to begin until 7 PM, I decided to arrive early and have dinner beforehand. The Black Swan, where the meeting was being held, offers food, so it seemed like a good opportunity to eat at the bar and get a sense of the environment before the group arrived. To feel more prepared and avoid any surprises, I went online to look up the menu, wanting to know my options in advance. I prefer to enter situations with as much information as possible, rather than going in blind. I arrived at the restaurant at 5:30 PM, intentionally giving myself ample time to enjoy a meal before meeting the book club. The space was quiet, which made it easy to find a comfortable seat at the bar. After settling in, I asked the bartender for a menu.
The first thing I noticed about the bartender were his arms—strong and solid, the kind that could easily wrap someone up in a protective embrace. He seemed to be around my age and, admittedly, was quite attractive. Tall, with hazel eyes and a warm, engaging smile, he certainly provided some visual interest to the evening. Even if the book club itself ended up being uneventful, at least there would be a bit of eye candy to enjoy. While I considered my own appearance, I reminded myself that I am not unattractive, but certainly not someone who turns heads effortlessly instead I tend to blend into the crowd. I couldn’t help but think that a man who looked like him would probably never give someone like me a second thought.
Before arriving, I already had a good idea of what I wanted to order for dinner. Still, I took a moment to review the menu that was sitting on the bar - just in case there were any new additions or changes that might catch my eye. After a quick scan, I decided to order the red ale they had on draft, hoping it would give me a bit of social courage to ease into the evening. For my meal, I chose the flatbread pizza, figuring it would be an easy, low-key option that wouldn’t risk making a mess or drawing unwanted attention. I deliberately avoided ordering pasta with marinara sauce, knowing that it’s a risky choice in social settings where spills could easily happen and create an awkward moment.
After giving me time to review the menu, the bartender approached and introduced himself, saying, “Hi, my name is Alex, how can I help you today?” I placed my order with a smile, feeling a small sense of relief now that I knew his name. Wanting to keep my thoughts organized, I pulled out my notebook and glanced over the notes I had written about the book, determined not to forget any of the key points before the meeting began. When Alex returned with my beer, I took the opportunity to ask, “I am here to meet with a book club at 7 – I am new to the group, do you know where they meet?” He replied warmly, “Oh that group, they look like they have a good time and meet over in that corner by the window. I can let you know when I see them start to arrive.” Grateful for the information, I responded, “Thank you – I appreciate it. I enjoyed the book so excited for the discussion.” Alex smiled, and I noticed the crinkle in his nose as he said, “No problem,” before walking away. At least now I knew exactly where to go when the others arrived. When my food came, I ate and found it decent, feeling glad that I had decided to come early and get settled before the meeting began.
At around 6:45 PM, people began to arrive for the meeting. I picked up my second beer, trying to steady my nerves, and made my way over to the table to introduce myself. With a deep breath, I hoped that everything would go smoothly. Spotting the first member as she walked in—a woman who appeared to be in her early 30s and radiated a genuinely cheerful energy—I approached and asked, “Hi, is this the book club?” She smiled warmly and replied, “Oh, welcome! I’m so glad you could join us. My name is Hannah, and you must be Lila. I was the one you messaged about attending.” Her friendliness immediately helped put me at ease. “It’s nice to meet you,” I responded, relieved by her welcoming demeanor. Hannah mentioned that three more members would be joining us that evening, promising a lively discussion. Soon after, two more women arrived - Josie and Olivia. They greeted me, introduced themselves, and took their seats before ordering drinks. Finally, the last member appeared, and to my surprise, it was a man. He introduced himself as Marcus. He looked to be about my age, probably in his early 40s, and entered the room with a bright smile and an enthusiastic greeting for everyone.
As everyone settled in around the table, Hannah broke the ice by asking, “So, what did you all think about Phoebe’s journey after her world completely unraveled?” Josie leaned forward, her eyes bright with empathy. “I found her story relatable. Even though her reaction and why she came to the hotel was dramatic, that sense of starting over hit close to home. Sometimes I wonder if, like Phoebe, I’m waiting for some big event to force me to change.” Marcus nodded, sipping his drink. “Yeah, I also noticed the contrast of how Phoebe couldn’t ask for what she wants vs Lila who kept looking for people to fix things for her. I think a lot of us fall into one of those two traps. That if we don’t ask for what we want it will keep people happy or that hoping someone will just come along and make everything better. Either way we lose ourselves, like both Pheobe and Lila did.” Olivia chimed in, her tone thoughtful, “What stood out to me was how isolated Phoebe felt, especially after her marriage ended and even her cat was gone. I get that—being alone can make you question who you really are. But I admired how she started to build relationships outside of those old expectations.” Lila, feeling a bit more comfortable, added, “I liked the moment when Phoebe befriended someone new and started being herself, not just playing a role. It reminded me of why I joined this club—to find genuine connection, not just keep up appearances.” The group paused, each member reflecting on how the book’s themes echoed their own lives, and the conversation deepened, weaving personal stories with insights from the book.
